Storyboards - Revisions

So this batch of storyboards seemed to come together a lot faster than the first attempt.  I assume this is mostly because I already had a lot of work done.  I still think her walking out with the mask would've worked, because the guy dry cleans her suit, there is no way he wouldn't know who she was.  Still, I'm tired of fighting opinions, so I'll just deal.  Anyway, most of the changes I thought were pretty minor.  For now I'm happy with it.  We'll see what everyone says in class.

Basic Need to Knows - Review

The opening statement reminds me of something straight out of the mouth of a photography teacher I had a couple semesters back.  Framing is everything, and learning what to include and what not to include was a challenge.  I got told off several times for cutting off the tops of people's heads or cutting off their feet.  I wasn't the best photographer, but I learned something from that class, and that's what really matters.

I did like Christopher Doyle's take on a few things.  I enjoyed watching his layered camera movements, and him adding things in between the subject and himself.  I also thought his take on color was interesting in the way that he described light and it's ability to set a mood.

I've always had issues with framing, so I won't lie and say that I have it all down, but there were a couple things that made me realize just how a few camera mistakes could have been avoided in one of my films, and how I could have easily fixed them if the footage had been there.

Overall, I think all of these things come down to first, paying attention, and second, experience.  I can't say why I make the same mistakes more than once.  It's frustrating, and I hope that if there's anything I've learned, it's how to finally film something correctly.  I do hope that my cinematic ideas carry on into my animated works too.  It's more of a wait and see kind of thing, but I can hope and try for the best.

Inspirations

So I watched this show some time back, but then I saw someone put together a condensed clip of it and realized something.  The cinematographers for this show rock!  There's some seriously awesome stuff going on here:

Roseman Lecture - Impact

I'd have to say, probably the largest impact of the lecture was his comment on networking and finding a partner.  I'm not that great at networking, so I think that's something I need to work at, and I think, finding a partner will help with that as well.

Gadsby - Jobs

I talked to Gadsby last Monday about job stuff.  I had her look over my resume, and she seemed to like most of it.  I have a few changes to make, but that was expected.  She also said that I need to really get an internship before I graduate.  That's fine, I just need to look through the companies that she has on file.  She said, I have plenty of time to line something up for the spring semester, so I'm totally going to try to do that.  One thing I have to do is to start breaking down my demo reel better.  I have a rough draft that I made for the job fair at the end of last semester, but it obviously was really just a first attempt.  So I will be looking deeper through my files to see what I still have in my collection.  Other than that, she just thinks I need more experience.  So I have some work do do, but nothing I can't handle.  As far as other job searching goes, she hasn't really talked to me about that yet.  I intend to meet with her in the future though, so I'm not worried about getting further information.  Until then, I will start getting together the stuff for an internship.

The Hollywood Sell

Okay, so I found this lecture very useful.  There were some things that I definitely didn't know about Hollywood that is very useful to know.  He also gave some very good advice.  I liked the hand-off style that Howard Rosenman and his partner had when speaking.  I found Rosenman's information helpful, but his partner more able to simplify and elaborate on the information (very helpful).  I also found this lecture much more helpful to me than many of the other school lectures just because it actually related to my major--one of only two lectures that has related to my major since I've been here (both on weekends).

While I found this lecture to be wonderful, there are a few things that I would love to see done differently.  First of all--timing and catering.  This lecture started just before lunch time and lasted almost until dinner time.  This meant that many people never got to eat lunch... or ate lunch much later than usual.  If all you can think about is, "I'm hungry," that's counter productive to the lecture.  So in the future, I would suggest that there should be some sort of catering... or the time should be moved back until after a meal time.  It doesn't sound like a big issue, but believe me, it is.

Second, the public opinion.  Don't get me wrong, I liked to see what kind of people were in the film industry in the rest of the community, but I found that many of the questions they asked were either related to their own work or were simply common sense.  Furthermore, many of the filmmakers from the Memphis community were circling Rosenman, trying to insert their own pitches and materials (completely ignoring what Roseman was trying to do as far as teaching and making exercises).  It was equal to being in a room of sharks with a single piece of meat.  Again, counter productive.  The next time I would like for it to be just a normal school lecture (open to all the students).

In all, I understand exactly why things went they way they did.  That doesn't change that there were some hitches.  Likewise, it was also a great lecture.  I would like to see something similar in the college lecture series.

Short Pitch - Sept 15

Elevator Pitch: Lisa is on a mission, and she'll do anything to see it through, even if it means kicking a few butts along the way.

Theme: Some women can take of themselves.

Summary: A woman gets her purse stolen and takes chase after the thief.  She is lured into an alleyway and surrounded by a group of thugs who attempt to attack her.  She is seemingly rescued when a super hero shows up just in the nick of time.  Only, he doesn' save her.  Instead, he gives a speech to the thugs, scolding them on the error of their ways.  She then decides to save herself, and beats up the thugs herself.  She ditches the super hero Lee in the alleyway, gets her purse back, and walks to a dry cleaner down the road.  She then hands over the dry cleaning ticket and receives her own super hero uniform.  As she leaves the store, she puts her mask on.  End.

Pitch III

Elevator Line: Lisa Peters is a woman on a mission, who will brave anything to get back her stolen purse and the important item within it, with or without the help of a certain super hero.


Opens with reading a newspaper of Superhero Lee's greatest feet.  As she's reading, her purse gets snatched.  She takes chase after the man, screaming at him to stop.

Lisa is led into an alley where we see people with similar clothing to the purse thief appear and begin to crowd around her.  Lee arrives, seemingly in the nick of time, and begins giving a speech, scolding their awful ways and pumping up his ego.  And as he keeps talking and talking, the hot air coming from his mouth is literally keeping the thugs at bay.  Lisa, not seeing him actually taking action, begins to clobber the thugs, knocking them all out before Lee even realizes that they're no longer there.  Stunned, he stares at her as Lisa dusts herself off, grabs her purse, gives him a disapproving look and a word or two, and begins to walk away.  Lee, tries to stop her, asking if there really isn't anything he can do for her.  He attempts to stop her, and she looks around, telling him honestly that there isn't anything that he can help her with.  Deflated and embarrassed, he stares after her. She walks out of the alley.

She opens the door to the dry cleaner  and trades in the dry cleaning ticket for a super hero outfit of her own.  With suit in hand, she turns to leave, putting on her mask.  She walks towards the door which is now where the camera is. End.

Storyboards

Revisions - Pitch II

Elevator: A superhero tries to save a woman who can save herself, only to find out that she's dating his arch enemy.


Characters: 
Andrew Lee Ricker (Superhero)
Elizabeth (Lisa) Eowyn Peters (the girl)
Aries Wes Gail (the villain & Lee's arch enemy)



Opens with newspaper image the villain Aries dressed in dark seemingly "normal" clothing, beating up the superhero Lee.  The headline reads something like, "Super-Rivalry: Lee is Defeated by Villain Aries, Yet Again."  Lisa folds down the top and tucks the newspaper under her arm, revealing the sight of the superhero Lee receiving an award for dedicated service from the mayor.  Lisa raises an eyebrow, "Really..."  


Just as she starts to really watch the ceremony, her purse gets snatched.  The newspaper is seemly dropped as well.  She looks around to see a man, hastily try to make his way out of the crowd.  Lisa takes chase, screaming at him to stop.  Lee hears her scream and sees her run after the man.  He publicly announces that he is going to help her and excuses himself with a dazzlingly smile.

Lisa is led into an alley where we see people with similar clothing to the purse thief appear and begin to crowd around her.  Lee arrives, seemingly in the nick of time, and begins giving a speech, scolding their awful ways.  And as he keeps talking and talking, the hot air coming from his mouth is literally keeping the thugs at bay.  Lisa, not seeing him actually taking action, begins to clobber the thugs, knocking them all out before Lee even realizes that they're no longer standing.  


Stunned, he stares at her as Lisa dusts herself off, grabs her purse, gives him a disapproving look, and begins to walk away.  Lee, tries to stop her, asking if there really isn't anything he can do for her.  She looks around, telling him honestly that there isn't anything that he can help her with.  Deflated and embarrassed, he stares after her as she walks the few extra feet to the street ahead.  A car is stopped only feet from her, and a man steps out of the car.  Lee instantly recognizes him as his arch enemy Aries, and freezes angrily on the spot.  Lisa gives Aries a kiss.  Aries spots Lee and Lisa walks around to the other side of the car and gets in.  Aries calls to Lee, giving him a lazy solute, "Until next time."  Lee is flabbergasted and so angry that steam is visibly coming out of his ears.  Aries steps into the car, and drives off, leaving Lee standing there.

For visuals, see pitch 1.

Focus for piece: I want to A) attempt hand painted backgrounds.  I think it will be a good opportunity for me to get away from the screen and use my painting skills.
B) I want to focus more on emotions and body language.  I'm terrible in this department and good animations can't live without it.  If I can actually make two characters that seem alive and actually react to each other, then I'll be happy.

This is kind of the look I'm thinking of for the villain as far as clothes.

Tyree Guyton Lecture

So this lecture was more of a presentation and a Q & A session.  Basically, it had to do with a man who decided to pretty up his neighborhood by trying to make art out of junk, the abandoned buildings around him, and paint.  For Detroit, I think what he had done to add some color is wonderful.  I also think that what he has done for the people of his community is equally awesome.

That said, it's only because it's Detroit that I think this idea works so well (that city is on it's way out).  In all honesty, if it were anywhere else, I don't think I would want to see junk piled up everywhere and polka-dots on everything.  Someone said his art is "always changing," but I have to step back and disagree in a way.  You see, for every thing that changes, there is always an element that stays the same.  The fact that he paints everything with large round circles is never going to change.  Also the "shoes in trees" thing, I will never quite understand.  I get that maybe he wanted to pay homage to the African Americans who were lynched several decades ago, but I believe if that's the point, he should find one place, and stick with that one place.

He says that: "Art is everything... things I see, things I don't see."  Well when you put it that way, why am I in school?  After all, since art is "everything," couldn't I just film the sky and call it a piece?

I'll let people think on that.  But my point is, you don't want me to film the sky.  Why?  Because you don't give a flip about it.  It doesn't interest you.  In fact, it doesn't even interest me.  So, you can see why I disagree with his point of view.  Given, religiously, he would have a point, but we're not profits.  We're just artists that want our art to speak to people.  So maybe, is art something that speaks to someone?  You tell me.

I do believe that art is owned by the community.  Though, rather than continued by them (like he does), I think the community owns art more because it keeps going to see it where ever it is.

So, while I don't believe in Guyton's views really, I do think that his project has done something for the population of Detroit.  For that reason alone, I think it was a success.  As an artist, though, he comes off as egotistical and opinionated.  I think I much rather would have listened to someone else speak instead (especially someone that might actually relate in the slightest to my field).

Classmate Research Reviews

Review on Job Research:

The one thing that worries me about seeing people who only look for internships the experience I had from the job fair last year.  Companies don't want interns who are a few months away from being out of college.  In fact, I had graphic design companies just walking up to me and asking me if I wanted to intern (even though I'm not a graphic designer) because I was one of the only juniors there.  When I refered them to a senior who could do the  job better, they simply said that "they're seniors, we're looking for a junior."  In other words.  They want skilled, but still in school.

And while I think we should all have dreams and ultimately a place where we eventually end up, I think (at this point), aiming for Pixar is a bit too high right off the bat.  Even the previous class with some of the best animators I know (including Michael Shaw) have had no luck with that studio.  So yes, dreams are great, but aim a little lower first.

For most of the rest, it's exactly what I've been seeing in the job search myself (for the most part we don't qualify).  But there's one thing that I have to know.  What is cinema 4D?

Review on demo reel:

On Dony Permedi's reel (from Tiffany's blog), I can totally see what she's talking about as far as the 2D cutting the reel in half.  The reel is still okay, even with this, but this person obviously does the most work in 3D, so I feel like he doesn't even need the 2D bit.  I also understand why the 3D artist's reel that she was talking about doesn't have sound in parts.  Studios sometimes don't even listen to the sound.  But there should be the option there, always.

I also think it's an interesting idea that Ashley states, making us think about what's a demo reel, and what's simply a shortened piece.

I like Jessie's example of a reel that merges multiple mediums, as I will be probably attempting to do the same with my own work.  This is a good example.

The first reel from Larry's blog is a little strange.  There are some really awkward parts.  I'm not sure if that means it's good animation (for making me feel uncomfortable), or if it's bad animation (for exactly the same reason.)

I totally agree with Krickett's reels. I totally agree that the first 3D reel is beautiful.  I think I even posted it on my own blog a week or so back for the exact same reason.  The 2D reel is also a good example of on-the-spot animation.  Very nicely done.  I also agree that Ringling has an amazing animation department, as showcased in the 4th reel.  And I also noticed in my own research the large amount of hand animation that 3D animators seem to do.

Pitch II - Changes

Elevator: A superhero tries to save a woman who can save herself.

So, the opening scene is going to be of Lee receiving an award for bravery from the mayor.  Lisa is in the crowd, watching.  Her purse gets snatched, and she takes chase after the man, screaming at him to stop.  Lee excuses himself with a dazzlingly, claiming to have to save a damsel in distress and runs after her to help.

Lisa is led into an alley where we see people with similar clothing to the purse thief appear and begin to crowd around her.  Lee arrives, seemingly in the nick of time, and begins giving a speech, scolding their awful ways.  And as he keeps talking and talking, the hot air coming from his mouth is literally keeping the thugs at bay.  Lisa, not seeing him actually taking action, begins to clobber the thugs, knocking them all out before Lee even realizes that they're not there.  Stunned, he stares at her as Lisa dusts herself off, grabs her purse, thanks him, and begins to walk away.  Lee, tries to stop her, asking if there really isn't anything he can do for her.  He attempts to stop her, and she looks around, telling him honestly that there isn't anything that he can help her with.  Deflated and embarrassed, he stares after her.

Later that day (because it would be way too convenient if she just ended up next to the dry cleaner because of the fight), she trades in the dry cleaning ticket for a super hero outfit of her own.  When she turns around, he's standing behind her in normal clothing, speechless.  She smiles, makes a comment like "Fancy meeting you here," and we see her put on her mask as she walks out, him turning to look at her in the background.


For visuals, see pitch 1.

Focus for piece: I want to A) attempt hand painted backgrounds.  I think it will be a good opportunity for me to get away from the screen and use my painting skills.
B) I want to focus more on emotions and body language.  I'm terrible in this department and good animations can't live without it.  If I can actually make two characters that seem alive and actually react to each other, then I'll be happy.

Critique feedback

So among the crazy things that I got feedback from, I had to come home today and realize that my entire idea had just been torched by a professor.  And then my roommate told me something that I had never thought about before.  I'm sharing this because I don't think any of us have ever thought about it before.

She said, "Your department has to ask for too many opinions."

And I thought about this.  She's right.  I sit in class all day, listening to the opinions or different professors.  We are so afraid of failing or not understand something that we debate it to death.  In the last week alone, I have gotten the opinions (for this project) from the professor teaching my class, every student in it, the opinions of two other professors, my roommate, and my boyfriend.  Three of those who are not closely related to our class have told me to leave my idea alone (that changing it would compromise the initial theory and idea).  But I think there are still a few small details that could be tweaked here and there, so I do.  Then I have had classmates and professors alike tell me to either change something major or almost scrap the whole thing.  And so I am left here without a clue the night before critique wondering what the hell I should change and what the hell I should leave.  I will continue to try and put forth my best work regardless.  And I will attempt to make it mine... regardless.

But my point is... and the point she was making... is that we are given so many different opinions to sort out that we hardly have time to insert our own.  I deem this as truly a weakness.  We are so afraid to fail that we dare not try.  We keep changing and changing things until we have lost all but 20% of the original design.  And it's everyone's fault alike.  So... in the end, what do we do about it?

Questions

ACT 1 The Setup 

A) What is the story's setting? 

The story is set in a large urban city.

1. What epoch? 

In modern time.

2. What class or kind of society are we in? 

We're in normal democratic, capitalistic society.

3. What pressures on the characters does each environment exert? 

It poses the stress of safety, overcrowding, apathy towards other people, and the concern of money.

B) Characters. Who are they and what does each represent? 

- Lee is the superhero who doesn't quit even when he's failing. He's the representation of that guy who thinks he needs a girl to help or to save all the time, never quite listening long enough to realize otherwise.  No matter how pure his intentions, he doesn't ever quite get it.

- Lisa is a common girl with a spitfire personality and the representation of the girl who can take care of herself.

1. What are their names, characteristics, and relationships?

- Andrew Lee Ricker is the super hero.  He doesn't like his first name, so he uses his middle name instead.  He's blonde with a huge ego to match his huge smile.  He's had a few relationships in his day, but nothing real.  Love has always seemed to elude him.  He has always been given what he wanted, not what he needed.

- Elizabeth Eowyn Peters shortenes her first name because she thinks it takes too long to say.  She's usually soft spoken, but doesn't stand for injustice.  She's far from a "type A" personality.  She doesn't smile or talk much, but she laughs easy, and she always considers her words carefully.

2. Who is most important and why? 

They both are in their own way.  He's the one who attempts to save her.  However, she doesn't actually need him, so if i had to chose, I would probably say that she is the most important person.  The theme centers around her and her actions.  The fact that she doesn't need him makes the story the way it is, which would be completely different if she did actually need him.

3. What does each character represent in the work's design? 

I would say Lee represents the human's selfish, stubborn nature.  Lisa represents the willingness to change, to learn, and to not tolerate the norm.

4. What is the main character's agenda--what must he or she get, do, or accomplish?

She must first get herself out of the situation she is in, and then see the better side in someone who may not be the greatest person.

(Consider this for the story as a whole, then define agendas for each scene. Do they add up?) 

For each scene... He first has the agenda to save her.  She has the agenda to deal justice.  He has the agenda to be loved and to feed his ego. Then she has the desire to leave and be left alone.  He has the desire to want to be with her, but is ashamed of not being able to help her. He has the agenda to get to know her even if she doesn't want to get to know him.

5. Through whose point of view do we mainly experience the story? 
(The POV character is the one whose experience we most share. POV can also move from character to character, according to the storyteller's intentions about what the audience should feel.) 

We mostly experience the story from Lisa's POV.  She now is watching him receive an award when her purse is stolen.
C) Conflict. What opposing forces are at work in the story? 

The purse thief and the thugs, as well as Lee's mouth...

1. What minor problem does each main character face? 

Lisa has a temper.  She may reveal her secret identity once day because of that.  Lee has the desire to be loved and to protect everything even if he's bad at it.  His ego is his worst enemy.

2. What obstacles prevent them from carrying out their agendas? 

I said before that Lee has an ego.  Because of his own pride, he may not get to being loved by Lisa, and he definitely didn't get to protecting her.  Lisa is trying to hide her true identity.  She also has to get past Lee's prideful nature to see any good in him.

3. The main character's conflict is between Lee's mouth and the purse thief. 
(Be careful here that you can name forces in opposition, not just an emotion or tension in the main character.) 

4. At what point is exposition complete and the audience in possession of all necessary setup information? 

I think the audience has everything they need as far as setup info when Lee takes off after Lisa during the ceremony to help her catch the thief.
ACT II Complications 
A) How have the obstacles faced by the main character changed? 

She now has thugs trying to do bad things to her.  She also has to try and stay patient to protect her identity while she waits for Lee to actually get rid of the people for her.

B) What adaptations does he or she make while trying to solve each problem? 

She finally decides that he's taking too long and she doesn't care about revealing her identity so much that she's willing to wait until the sun sets.  So she does something about it.

C) What new factors raise the stakes? (What developments make the main problem harder to solve?) 

There's the fear of what the people might do to her, or might do to him.  There's also her response which is completely out of the ordinary.
ACT III Confrontation, Crisis, and Resolution 
A) What drives the situation toward the final crisis point? 

Lisa is led into a large alley and surrounded by men.

B) Where do opposing forces come into the final, decisive confrontation? 

They are physically threatening to the main character.  The final part is whether she actually accepts Lee, though.  And I've intentionally left that open to decide.  The audience should fill in the blank of whether they actually get together, I think.

C) How is the apex of the problem resolved, and which of the opposing forces wins? 

Lisa wins (versus Lee who should have won).  She beats up the people.  

D) Does anyone learn and grow, even minimally, from this resolution, and if so, how? 

Lee learns a little humility and maybe a little bit about love. Lisa learns to basically rely on herself only. 
Meaning and Purpose 
What genre is this story and under what rule does its world usually run? 

It's a short story built for humor and a tad of suspenseful romance.

What patterns can you see that might be significant to the story's meaning? 

There's sort of a back and forth--"anything you can do, I can do better..."  Which totally makes sense because she's a girl saving herself.

Who is the point of view character? 

Lisa

What forces does the story make this character(s) confront, and why? 

It makes Lee confront his ego, and it makes her confront her fear to be found out and her unwillingness to do something for herself (rather than for someone else).

What are the qualities of the main characters and what can we expect of them at the outset? 

Lee has a desire to do good, even if he isn't good at it.  Lisa has the desire for justice, even if she doesn't want to always use her abilities for herself.

Does anyone in the story develop--learn, change, grow? 

Lee learns a little humility and maybe a little bit about love. Lisa learns to basically rely on herself only. 

How does the story want to act on us?

Uh?  What does that mean exactly?  It wants to act humorous?

 What does it say about the individual in relation to how the world works?

She's the opposite of most women.  So as an individual, she's against the crowd, which I've mostly been in my life too.  There's a quote that reads something along the lines of "if I find myself ever agreeing with the majority, I have to stop, reflect, and find out what I'm doing wrong..."

 
What is the story's premise? 

Considering the context, this question hardly makes sense... But if I had to say what it's premise was, I'd probably have to say that opposites can attract, even if they explode some along the way.

What is its theme?

Theme is girls can take care of themselves, even if they need a little kick to get going...

Demo reel & Job research episode III

Job Research


Wild Brain Entertainment is still looking for an Editor.  I would totally bend over backwards to get an editing job. But along with the normal 2-3 years experience in editing required, I also need to know pacing, staging, and translation to CG layouts.  CG isn't something we cover in the school.  That's a problem, considering that otherwise I would be totally qualified.

Best Boy Media is looking for a 3D animator.  Surprisingly, I actually have a lot of qualifications for this, because they're looking for younger artists.  What I don't have is character design experience, rigging, or experience in 3ds Max.  Yes, everyone requires 3ds Max.  We need it here really bad.  For the additional skills, zBrush would be another helpful element.  And what is Cinema 4D?  I've heard about it, but I still don't understand what it actually is.

There are also lots of listing for concept artists which is a fine field, but it's not the way I want to go.  More clearly, I don't think I would be any good at it.  They need someone with a crazy amount of artistic talent and ability.  That's something I only have a small amount of.  Drawing is difficult for me, so this wouldn't be a great field for me.


Demo reels

The Good:

This reel is so flippin' pretty.  Nothing quite like full texturing and awesome animation.  The pacing is also wonderful.

So here's one from a fellow student in a 3D art college.  Pretty freaking amazing for someone who's been in school just about a semester and a half longer than me at this point.  Anyway, what makes this reel good are several things.  First, it's hilarious.  The pacing is a little quick in the beginning, but I can totally deal with that.  He shows the animatic, video reference, and notes.  Those are all great things.  And he makes a point that I've been trying to make forever. No matter how good the reel.  A good reel is not a substitute for good animation, period.

I like this reel mostly because of the emotions that each character has.  Even when they're speaking different languages, you can tell the basic idea of what they're say.  Also the way the clips in the reel are arranged makes you stay engaged.

The Bad:

Okay.  So the person who modeled this girl did a great job with her.  That said, the reel is horrible.  Quite literally, we see every inch of this one girl, and only this one girl.  We see her with textures, without textures, in solid object form, and in wire frame.  We see the same parts of her, over and over again.  Not interesting.  What's more, while I'm sure it's awesome that someone can make a nude girl, no one really cares about seeing the texture of her nipples three time.  End of story.

I'm not too big a fan of this reel, just because I feel like it puts all the cool stuff in the beginning, sits on the titles forever, and then drags us along for the rest of a demo reel that doesn't showcase much.  The longer we look, the less interesting it becomes.  So, this reel is a fail.

The Weird:

For the most part, this is a good reel.  I like that we get to laugh.  I kind of wish he would focus on 3D only though, because it's obviously his strong point.  I feel like he could completely cut out the hand animation and it would be a good reel.

So this reel is more on the professional side from what I can see.  It gets points for being cool, as well as slightly creepy.  The one thing that bothers me though is that things are extremely out of order.  One object is shown, and then another object comes up, only to be thrown back to the first object again to show us something like texturing.  So I don't like that.  it does showcase his skills well, but honestly, I don't think we need to see his texture maps in Maya to know whether he's good or not.  So, this reel is okay, but I would definitely do some things differently.

Critique #2 - Meredith Root

This critique was like a brain explosion and not in a good way.  The response I got back from Meredith was not exactly the best.  The very first thing she suggested to me after I finished telling her the pitch was that I should do this story in live action.

...  Say what?

So she explained that she thinks it would be funnier to see Lee in real life doing these things in a superhero outfit.  So while I think this is totally a disaster waiting to happen, I can't quite figure out how I would get a volunteer lead actor that wouldn't mind walking around in a superhero outfit all day, being dumped, probably humiliated, etc.  And on top of that, there's the locations to think about too.  The places I would have to film in would likely be somewhere like downtown Memphis, which I'm not even comfortable walking in, not to mention filming in.  The one pro to doing this in live action I think would be the ability to have someone actually fight people.  I would have the time to have my actors actually trained properly, which would be an up side in relation to two semesters ago when I had to have Aaron cram essentially two months of training into two and three weeks (and they didn't even get to train together until the night before).

Another thing that completely throws my entire project into chaos in a second suggestion that Meredith made.  She thinks I should make Lee (the superhero) the main character and make this story essentially about him failing several times to save different women who can save themselves.  Which would then lead to him hanging up his superhero uniform--turning it into a traditional 3-gag structure.  Not only would this completely change the entire story, but it would cheapen Lee even further, throw the chance for him to fall for one girl completely out the window, and the throw away the chance for me to make a simple animation.

Overall, the main thing I got out of this critique was a realization that I don't want to go any of these directions.  I like the idea I have, and even though I may not be the best animator in the world, I intend to see this through.  There are changes to be made in this story, but if I'm going to change something, I'll have to find another way to go about it.  Make no mistake, this is not me merely throwing my foot down and throwing a fit.  I gave my BFA a lot of thought over the summer, and the one of the conclusions that I came up with was that I did not want to do this in live action.  I plan to talk to Jill about this, but I have no intention of changing this piece to live action without a solid reason.

Critique #1 - Shane McDermott (Illustration professor)

So I gave Shane pretty much the same pitch that you heard this week because today was the only day he could listen to it.

Overall, he didn't have many things to say, but he completely understood where I was coming from for this idea.  He made several comments about things that I had meant all along, but people wouldn't tell me unless they really understood it.  I deem this a success even if it's just a small one.  It means that I can at least get at least one other person to think like I do about this project. There were a couple points that he made that I think are quite good though.

1. First of all, he wanted me to make it clear that the purse thief and the thugs in the alley were connected.  This may sound like a small issue, but he's absolutely right, if I don't communicate that visually that the story doesn't totally make sense.

2. Second, what are the purse thief's physical qualities?  Could he take her?  This is another good point.  Any stronger built man would turn and harm his pursuer if he didn't think he could outrun her.  Or at the very least, he would try to elude her if he really just didn't want extra trouble.  Instead, he leads her into an ambush essentially, which means that this man has to be insecure.  If this was an ambush to do something horrible like rape her, why was he chosen to be the runner?  So choosing someone who essentially is puny, or even has been obviously picked on or made to do this is probably the way to go.

3. Her reaction.  Being a comic artist, Shane mentioned that when she gets surrounded, her reaction should be to brace herself rather than to fear what's coming. That makes total sense, and actually something I had been considering long before this.  But he repeated this part of his critique at least twice, so I'll stick a mental note to make this super important.

4. He mentioned how she was relieved that she didn't have to step in to save herself at first because she wouldn't have to reveal her secret identity.  Spot on.  Exactly what I was going for.  So I'm very happy that he got that from it.

5. I've had some issues trying to come up with ways to make Lee's speech more interesting. Shane suggested that since Lisa's a super hero (and Lee is taking so long) she would begin to asses her surroundings.  What are things she can use?  I know before that I said I didn't want her to use weapons, but this may be a better way for her to go.  She simply uses nearby objects as make-shift weaponry.  It would be more interesting visually, and ultimately give the audience a slight preparation for what may be coming, which in some ways will be better than just a "WHOA!!! WHAT THE HELL!?" reaction.


In all, I found his advice very helpful, and I plan to utilize all of it.  I think Shane was the right choice in getting a critique from.  As for the second technical critique, I have a scheduled time with Meredith come Monday.